Sometimes I just want to rip my heart out of my chest. A lot of the time the tugging on it just seems like it’s ready to go willingly. It’s like all of my thoughts become potential lyrics for a Taylor Swift song; except more annoying, if that’s even possible. It feels stupid, but that doesn’t mean they don’t stop writing themselves. Like that scene from Harry Potter where the bitchy pink cat lady tortures Harry into writing “I will not tell lies,” into his skin. I feel that all over all day long, you just can’t see it. These words teleport from my brain back and forth from my heart. Making pit stops along the way to my lungs, my amrs, my hands, my mouth. Instead of creating a very unfortunate case of word vomit, I let my hands do the talking and write it out. There are just so many “feelings.” It’s actually more lame than it sounds. Feelings that make you feel things all day long. That feeling to cry learning about political science. It’s a common occurrence but this time “feelings” have other motives. They just don’t stop, they take you over. Why is it that when people feel for each other, there is a point where feelings change or are forced away. Why don’t I know these tricks? Why does my stomach constantly feel like it’s in the wake of buyers remorse? How come some can box them up and throw them out, and I can’t? My best friends Christine and Rachel tell me that feeling is something you can control if you learn how and practice really hard. Chelsea Handler tells me that feeling is something she only has when she is touching herself. Both are extremely unnerving to me in many ways. What I really want to know is…how to get rid of feelings without starting the process like that fat girl who “has a lot of feelings,” in Mean Girls. I actually do go here. Now where do I go from there…?